C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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