you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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