RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
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