You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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