Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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