Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
