Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
