Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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