I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
