Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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