You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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