Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
