erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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