He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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