you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
