Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
