I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
