You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
