I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize