before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
