Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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