im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
