The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
