You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
