You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just blew my weed a kiss
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
