Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
