So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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