My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
