My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
