Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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