girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
