Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
