Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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