you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I party with great urgency now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
