yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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