We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize