Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
