he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
