Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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