What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
