ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
