But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
