ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
