i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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