I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
