My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
