break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I bet he comes in French.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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