There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
