So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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