on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
