I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
