so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
