Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
