I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
