I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
