i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize