Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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