Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
