Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
