but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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