Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
