"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
